In The Age last weekend Mia Freedman wrote about how hard it can be to break up with your in-laws when your relationship breaks up. The piece was prompted, so she said, by an article where journalists found it strange/unusual/worth comment that Jennifer Aniston still visited with Brad Pitts' mother. It seems that Britain’s “Now” Magazine in particular thought this was odd. Mia Freedman, herself, didn’t think it odd. I’m with Mia Freedman I don’t think it’s odd.

However, I work with young women who would think it was very odd.

These 20 and 30 year olds have a lot of trouble relating to and in some cases even being with their partner’s parents and family. Hair-raising stories are related where the in-laws appear of have done everything in their power to alienate their son’s partner. I hear one side of the story. How the in-laws, on the other side, feel is never revealed to me.

It may be that I am just blessed and I feel blessed when I hear these stories.

My first meeting with son’s girl friend, some years ago, struck the right note for an on-going relationship. This is my view. I haven’t asked her.

It was a hot February night and she and my son called at my place and for some reason, incomprehensible now, We travelled in my car. We went to Cafe Dang on Fitzroy Street, St. Kilda. It would be 15mins at the most from my house. There was a quarter hour park outside the cafe and not another park in sight. We chose a table were we could keep watch on the car. After some time an hour park became free further up the street.
“There’s a better park! You can move into it!” announced my son.
“Someone will get it before I managed to get the car sorted out’” I said.
My son’s girl friend jumped up. “I’ll stand in it and keep people away.” She rushed off.

I retrieved my car and managed to get into the Saturday night Fitzroy Street traffic and crawled forward. My son's girl friend waved would-be parkers away. I positioned myself, cars stopped and I backed into the space. There was a resounding crash. I had backed into the car behind. I put my car into drive and straightened up.

My son stood up at the table as if to braced himself for trouble. I got out and locked the door. We studied the car behind me. Traffic and people surged past. No one took any notice of us. We walked back to our table. “What you need is another wine”said my son’s girlfriend laughing. She was right and as I was a bit shaken and a bit tense I spilt it.


We have remained friends and I believe over the intervening years our friendship has depended. I value her opinion and her views. For me it’s a good friendship. I feel sorry for the girls who have stressful times in company of their in-laws but I feel more sorry for the in-laws. A real joy is missing from their lives.

I think Brad Pitts’ mother is lucky to see Jennifer as a friend she can visit. Of course I have no idea why they visit but I like to think that it’s because over time they have developed a friendship they value.

We have dined at the Café Dang on a couple of other occasions but none have come up to the level of the first dinner where our lives clicked together and we were united over Vietnamese food and a soft merlot.